My Entertaining and Flamboyant Boyfriend Is Also Hollow

Dr. Robert Wallace
Tue, 17 Mar 2026 23:00:00 -0700
Lifestyle

DR. WALLACE: I'm a college student and have a new boyfriend. We've been together for around two months. He tends to be dramatic, entertaining and even flamboyant when it comes to some of the conversations he holds, especially when there are groups of people involved in the discussion.

One example is that he made a big point of saying to all of our friends that he was taking me out to one of the most expensive and highly rated French restaurants in our city. Indeed, this particular establishment has a great reputation.

When the time came for our date, however, and we actually sat down with the menus in our hands, I noticed his bombastic, flamboyant nature was replaced with menu anxiety, as I could see he was worried about the costs of everything involved there. We ended up eating a very basic meal, and he avoided appetizers, soups, or salads and dessert. He even drank only water with lemon in it.
Updated: Wed Mar 18, 2026

DR. WALLACE: I'm a college student and have a new boyfriend. We've been together for around two months. He tends to be dramatic, entertaining and even flamboyant when it comes to some of the conversations he holds, especially when there are groups of people involved in the discussion.

One example is that he made a big point of saying to all of our friends that he was taking me out to one of the most expensive and highly rated French restaurants in our city. Indeed, this particular establishment has a great reputation.

When the time came for our date, however, and we actually sat down with the menus in our hands, I noticed his bombastic, flamboyant nature was replaced with menu anxiety, as I could see he was worried about the costs of everything involved there. We ended up eating a very basic meal, and he avoided appetizers, soups, or salads and dessert. He even drank only water with lemon in it.

I followed his lead and did the same as he did, and the good news is the dinner entrees were truly fantastic. When it came time to pay the tab, I noticed he took out some cash and I could see the amount of the total bill. I offered to pay my share, but he told me that wasn't needed and he was able to come up with just enough cash to cover the amount. But it left only about a two-dollar tip in a really high-end, fancy restaurant!

Once we left the restaurant and returned to our normal social situations, he boasted about the place, how great it was and how much we enjoyed the meal and so forth. The reality through my eyes was that he appeared tense during the entire experience, and he truly embarrassed me by tipping a very professional server what amounted to less than a 3% overall tip for what was undoubtedly superior service.

I've already decided I'm not going to say anything to any of our mutual friends as this would embarrass him, but do you think his behavior is exposing a red flag that I should be concerned about? — His Flamboyance Sure Shriveled, via email

HIS FLAMBOYANCE SURE SHRIVELED: It sounds as if your guy finds it important to be the center of attention and to be perceived as someone who is a "mover and shaker" who can back up his posts with a budget to sustain his indulgences.

However, you got to see another side of him up close and in person during that particular date. My advice at this point is to file the experience away and see if it simply was a one-off experience, or if it's something that you begin to notice as an ongoing pattern that begins to repeat in other similar ways.

You mentioned finding yourself feeling uncomfortable as you left the restaurant that evening, so judge your future experiences with him going forward by how comfortable you feel before, during and after future dates. The two of you may begin to mesh and merge in more harmony, or you may find yourself gradually becoming increasingly uncomfortable. If you notice the latter developing with regularity, it's likely time to move on.

I DON'T ACT ON MY CREATIVE IDEAS

DR. WALLACE: I'm a junior in high school and I'll admit I'm a pretty creative thinker some of the time. But most of the time I'm pretty practical and grounded. For example, I regularly succeed with my studies and I prepare for all assignments and tests. I do pretty well academically at my high school and I have aspirations of attending a good college.

But apart from that structure, I sometimes come up with creative ideas about various topics that relate to my life. They range from small business ideas to dating strategies, ideas to develop better friendships and even techniques I could use for my health and nutrition. But the challenge I'm finding is that although I come up with a lot of potential ideas that I could try out, I end up "collecting" these ideas rather than actually testing any of them! Now I'm starting to feel bad, like I'm more of a "daydreamer" than someone who possesses interesting creativity. It just seems overwhelming to move all of my ideas to the forefront to actually start testing them. — Stuck in Daydreams Activity, via email

STUCK IN DAYDREAMS WITHOUT ACTIVITY: Congratulations on being a practical, excellent student who seems to be well on track to attend college someday.

And as to your plethora of ideas across many different topics, perhaps a good starting point would be to look at these ideas as assets, not liabilities! Do your utmost not to feel burdened by them, but rather feel proud that you're able to come up with some interesting ideas even if they haven't been tested yet.

Some advisors might recommend to you that you rank them in terms of importance to your life, and then begin going through them one by one in a declining order in terms of their immediate value or potential to impact your life in the biggest way.

But given the background you provided me, I would not take that approach. Instead, start with one idea, but make it the one that you feel you would have the most fun actually trying to implement! Don't worry if it seems to be a low priority, something that's trivial compared to some of the other potentially more valuable ideas that you have. The key here is you need a starting point and to create some type of activity towards at least one of these ideas just to see how it all turns out and what progress you can potentially make. Start with an idea that sounds the most fun. If you complete one, select the next one that seems the most fun out of the rest and so forth.

At some point, if you develop a positive methodology for testing your ideas, you may wish to try one that could have a greater potential impact on your life after you've already beta-tested a few of your other ideas. Good luck!